Post your funny quotes and random fact here!(Don't talk about Chuck Norris)

Read the title.

I'll start

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"-Anonymous

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." -Anonymous

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic." -Anonymous

"There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't" -Anonymous

"Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back." -Anonymous

"He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone." - Anonymous

"Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded."-Yogi Berra

"In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf." - Anonymous

"Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality." - Clifton Fadiman

(I love C+P)

"Beer is proof that God exists and wants us to be happy."

~Benjamin Franklin


God bless.

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

- Louis Hector Berlioz

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice.... you ain't gonna fool me twice."

-George W. Bush

"Do not touch. Not only will you die, it will hurt a lot while you are dying."

-Anonymous